Born And Raised In South Detroit

Oh god.

by Connor.

I was recently looking at movie trailers (because it’s either that or be productive) and I have come across something astonishing. There is an actual recipe for making Romantic Comedy trailers. Here, let me explain the ingredients.

The first ingredient is that the trailer HAS to have that soothing deep voice (you know, the “smoker since I was six” voice) saying things like “Justin could never commit to anyone, but everything changed when Kelly came along,” or “she was just a small time girl, living in a lonely world,” or something other disconnected floaty bull crap.

The second is the main character always has to say something along the lines of “I met someone incredible” followed by that someone incredible getting hit in the face, falling, dropping something, or something else excessively clumsy.

The third is a character has to make fun of another character using an old tired joke, but for some reason it’s followed by a minutes worth of raucous bouts of laughter from characters in different settings. We know that laughter is from different scenes than the joke, but editors still like to mix and match scenes to make a good commercial.

Number four is the main character has to say “I’ve made a huge mistake,” or some other way of expressing remorse. This is usually followed by a close-up shot of the character looking sad or raucous bouts of laugher from characters in different settings.

And finally, it is completely necessary to have a musical montage. CUE IT:

JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL… LIVING IN A LA-HONELY WA-HORLD… SHE TOOK A MIDNIGHT TRAIN OUT TO AAAAN-EEEE-WHEEEERE!